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it's not the same without you

Aug. 10th, 2010 | 11:57 pm

and it hurts like hell when the one you trust the most decided one day, out of the blue, to crush your heart and suffocate it until it's withered and gives up because that's easier than trying to wish them back and justify the pain. it's exhausting to house a broken heart as it sucks all your energy as well as your soul until you're left with a pale face and sunken eyes. why would i want to experience that again? and it's not just a feeling, you don't just feel it-you experience it and it becomes one of those memories that makes you never forget. because if you forget, you're vulnerable, and when you're vulnerable, it's easy to fall down the same path unexpectedly. then i can imagine it's five times worse because along with the pain, you get more hurt after hitting yourself for not being careful the second time around.

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beginning

Feb. 1st, 2009 | 12:50 am

and this room is full of broken glass
due to our broken hearts
we've laid them on the floor
hoping one day they'll mold together
but we can't walk around
we just have to go back to the start, to begin forever

and winter blew right through you
your soul full of ice, i can't warm you up
to the idea of moving forward together
and as i wipe my tears
you have already wiped the table
of the crumbs you left from last night's dinner

these are my confessions
that we can convince ourselves we were meant to be
that we have nothing but unimaginable chemistry
that it's in our biology
and i've got this perfect philosophy
if we connect as one tonight

this is your religion
you mumble your prayers
hoping someone will catch a whisper
and you wonder if this city doesn't sleep
does that mean that no one ever dreams
confused even about the heaviness of your heart, so you close your eyes

and let me in

someone had a revelation
a better resolution of the bigger picture
we've been stuck in this moment, together at the same time
and we don't want to miss another minute of our time
i need a better answer to the questions replaying in my mind
i want to foster this feeling orphaned from a different time

the clutter erased from the window view
and the silent quiet calm of the night
eases us to our slumber
right back in each other's arms
right back to where we're supposed to be
right back to the start, let's begin forever

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time is standing still

Mar. 10th, 2007 | 04:53 pm

damn
been hella long



senior
prom
dress making
life
SUMMER


so i'm fer sure college bound.
to where?
who knows!

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and for a side note

May. 26th, 2006 | 11:45 pm
mood: thankfulthankful
music: six age racer- dashboard


to my favorite saint mary's graduate:
dedication to you
so basically (and i say that because i know you hate that...it's still on my phone)
you have made the past two years at saint mary's the best they have ever been. 
we've been through it all:
summer school with that cranky craptree
...and "precarious" or perseus....or apu
....and newton blending in
....and top dog
....and whiting...that hunk
to that pointless 2 second ride in your car
to those lunches in your rapist car
to those times in choir 
to those texts that just kept coming and coming
to the time you came to LA with us and cheer us on
....and come to disneyland with us
.....and sneak out of the hotel with us
....and hearing how you really got your last name
.....to letting me borrow your belt
to listening to your girl problems
to listening to your problems with a certain favorite person of yours
to listening to how much your work kicks major ass
to listening to the SLOW progress of your car
....and how you're about to teach me to drive at your work
to the times you came to our concerts
to the times we bitched each other out because we can
to that time you blocked me and didn't realize it was my screename and you kept looking for me and wondering why you couldn't find me to im so you could bitch me out even more
to hearing all your complaints
to hearing how much of a 7 year old you are
to stalking you.

chris, honestly, i admire you
you taught me to live it out and not be afraid
you are the cutest boy scout i have ever known 
and i know you'll use my pipe wisely while you're down there in socal
and i know you're not that far
but to me, because of how close we've gotten, you'll seem a world away.

yeah i know we'll keep in touch 
via
texts every two seconds for no reason but to annoy me
and ims for no reason but to bitch me out
but that's ok
because that's the chris i know
and i KNOW you're just kidding
because you are that 7 year old

you were always there for me 
so i can spill my stupid feelings out 
but then you make me feel good
you make me happy
because you make me realize life isn't worth problems
especially those boy problems =]

and no matter who else hates you (cough cough)
know that i never will

i'll miss you so much 
with everything
and i'm sorry i took up two pages,
but i just had a lot to say!...and more
i love you
and i'll never forget you
and i'm forever branded in the "i love chris lee" club

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five days until far westerns *heart heart*

Apr. 23rd, 2006 | 03:22 pm
mood: nostalgicdreamy dreamy
music: dreams be dreams - jack johnson

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